Rejection?

Sorry but I dont really have any deep thoughts right now. Well, I guess I do, but I'm not so good at sharing them...or wanting to share them...or feel like anyone wants to hear them. I'm a surface level kinda gal and I'm much more comfortable talking about the weather than what's really going on inside my noggin (assuming that I could even get it into words). It's snowing, by the way...we got a few inches last night. I dont take rejection too well, so I dont take risks too often. And for me...going deeper than surface level is quite a risk. I feel way too vulnerable and awkward. I feel like others might think I'm an idiot or laugh at me or decide they'd rather screen my calls. Good grief! I'm thirty-something, not twelve.

But how many of us feel that way about some part(s) of ourselves? Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. And how do we disguise it? Wear clothes that we hope will hide it? Act like we're smarter than we feel we really are? Avoid topics/people? Stay superficial? Crack a lot of jokes? Yeah...we all do it. We've become experts at hiding our insecurities. Why? Because it's too painful not to. If we confront it and admit it then we think that's who we are and it's all we see. If it's all we see then we think it's all everyone else sees too. Rejection. We hate that!

I'm sure I heard this train of thought from Beth Moore: it's easier to please God than people. How true! It's easier to please God than anyone else...even ourselves. We never feel good enough, smart enough, slim enough or that we do enough or do it well enough. Who are we trying to please? We humans can be so judgmental and condemning. Of others. Of ourselves. And if we can get the focus off of us and onto someone else we're relieved. So the games begin.

People see only what we want them to see...most of the time (heaven forbid we get "outed" for something excruciatingly humiliating...or get slanderized by untrue/half-true gossip!). We try to control what others know about us. And we care what people think of us. (Yes, even those who "dont care what others think." It's in there somewhere. It might be more true to say they "dont care what most others think" or even they "mostly dont care what others think.") We care. We want to be accepted. And we get slapped in the face over and over with some kind of rejection from people/ourselves. (If we didnt, we wouldnt feel like we're never "enough.") But people dont see everything.

God sees everything. Every. Thing. He knows what we're thinking and he knows what we're really like...deep down inside where we try to hide it. Does he ever reject us for it? Never. Not ever. We're enough. Even if we're not smart, slim, witty, in-control, or got it all together (who does?). We're enough. We're accepted. Always. He loves us. Always. Just like we are. All he wants is our love back. To believe him. (I feel the need to add that it's because we love him back that we want to obey him and serve him and please him.)

We have to ask ourselves...who are we trying to please? Who's opinion actually matters? Why do we spend so much effort pleasing people/ourselves...who may never be pleased? Exactly how much effort am I spending on that, anyway? How much effort am I spending on pleasing God?

It's just so easy for me to get sidetracked and distracted from what's really important.

So...those are my thoughts for today. I have to remind myself of this periodically and you got to hear it this time. Lucky you!

My Favorite Things

I've been drawing a blank on any new posts lately...and have been kinda too busy to even think about anything. But thanks to Jenni I am actually going to post something today...Lord willing. Jenni posts her favorite things each January so here are some of my favorite things...in no particular order:

1. Electric blankets...dual control!!! Oh yes!
2. Three-fourths of my kids can wipe their own hineys.
3. Standing in front of the wood burning stove on a cold day.
4. Getting a new book.
5. Coffee...with sugar and flavored Coffee Mate (especially Peppermint Mocha).
6. Getting email...from people I know, not junk emails.
7. Reading other people's blogs.
8. Chocolate (remember, I said in no particular order...otherwise this might be first).
9. Watching Stan play with the kids.
10. Getting up before the kids do and having some coffee and quiet time with God.
11. Mexican food.
12. Snow.
13. Girl talk.
14. Hugs and snuggles from my kids...and the sweet things they say.
15. Lounging on the couch with Stan.
16. Being able to set the timer on the TV so it will turn off on its own after Stan falls asleep.
17. Calling mom when I'm driving somewhere.
18. The girls can do a lot of things on their own and help/play with Jake.
19. The girls all do their own laundry!
20. Pizza night.

Ok so that's all for now. I just realized many of these are winter-influenced. Maybe I'll have to do one in the summertime too. Feel free to post some of your favorite things in the comments section. Well...at least feel free to leave a comment!

Happy New Year!!!

Well happy New Year everyone! I have to brag that the first morning of my new year started off with the girls getting up, beating me to the kitchen and making me breakfast in bed! Awwwwww!!! Had I known, I would have jumped back in bed before they got to my room...but as it was I opened the door right when they got there. So I took it to the kitchen to eat with them. It was very sweet and they were so excited and said such sweet things to me. I know this is no where near in comparison to Mary...but I "treasured it in my heart" just the same.

Oh, and it was a bowl of cereal and a cup of water, in case you were wondering. In matching plastic bowl and cup. Purple.

(And before you get to thinking that it's always like this at my house. Let me assure you, it's not. In fact the past couple of days I've been on their case and on the verge of pulling out my hair. Just when I'm about ready to run through a wall, they go and do something sweet. But I'm also the first to say...they ARE sweet kids and we're VERY blessed!)

Anyway, as sweet as that was...and oh it was!...our new year is bittersweet. That was the sweet. On the otherhand, we got news on Saturday that Stan's Grandmommie passed away. He flew out to Kentucky for the funeral.

I'd like to say that the kids and I have a fun-filled day planned for today, but it's the last day of their holiday break and of course the teachers sent homework. Ugh. We dont need busywork...and I dont think they will forget all that much over the course of a week. But anyway...of course we put it off til now. Well...most of it. So that's what we're doing today. That and laundry. Fun, fun! Dont you wish you were here?! Aw, I'm sure we'll take a break to play here and there. We dont want to be dull...all work and no play.

Ok...gotta go rescue Elmo out of the Christmas tree. Dont ask how he got there. I'm not sure I want to know either. Is it wishful thinking that if I put an opened can of tuna on the floor that he'd come down on his own?