Rejection?

Sorry but I dont really have any deep thoughts right now. Well, I guess I do, but I'm not so good at sharing them...or wanting to share them...or feel like anyone wants to hear them. I'm a surface level kinda gal and I'm much more comfortable talking about the weather than what's really going on inside my noggin (assuming that I could even get it into words). It's snowing, by the way...we got a few inches last night. I dont take rejection too well, so I dont take risks too often. And for me...going deeper than surface level is quite a risk. I feel way too vulnerable and awkward. I feel like others might think I'm an idiot or laugh at me or decide they'd rather screen my calls. Good grief! I'm thirty-something, not twelve.

But how many of us feel that way about some part(s) of ourselves? Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. And how do we disguise it? Wear clothes that we hope will hide it? Act like we're smarter than we feel we really are? Avoid topics/people? Stay superficial? Crack a lot of jokes? Yeah...we all do it. We've become experts at hiding our insecurities. Why? Because it's too painful not to. If we confront it and admit it then we think that's who we are and it's all we see. If it's all we see then we think it's all everyone else sees too. Rejection. We hate that!

I'm sure I heard this train of thought from Beth Moore: it's easier to please God than people. How true! It's easier to please God than anyone else...even ourselves. We never feel good enough, smart enough, slim enough or that we do enough or do it well enough. Who are we trying to please? We humans can be so judgmental and condemning. Of others. Of ourselves. And if we can get the focus off of us and onto someone else we're relieved. So the games begin.

People see only what we want them to see...most of the time (heaven forbid we get "outed" for something excruciatingly humiliating...or get slanderized by untrue/half-true gossip!). We try to control what others know about us. And we care what people think of us. (Yes, even those who "dont care what others think." It's in there somewhere. It might be more true to say they "dont care what most others think" or even they "mostly dont care what others think.") We care. We want to be accepted. And we get slapped in the face over and over with some kind of rejection from people/ourselves. (If we didnt, we wouldnt feel like we're never "enough.") But people dont see everything.

God sees everything. Every. Thing. He knows what we're thinking and he knows what we're really like...deep down inside where we try to hide it. Does he ever reject us for it? Never. Not ever. We're enough. Even if we're not smart, slim, witty, in-control, or got it all together (who does?). We're enough. We're accepted. Always. He loves us. Always. Just like we are. All he wants is our love back. To believe him. (I feel the need to add that it's because we love him back that we want to obey him and serve him and please him.)

We have to ask ourselves...who are we trying to please? Who's opinion actually matters? Why do we spend so much effort pleasing people/ourselves...who may never be pleased? Exactly how much effort am I spending on that, anyway? How much effort am I spending on pleasing God?

It's just so easy for me to get sidetracked and distracted from what's really important.

So...those are my thoughts for today. I have to remind myself of this periodically and you got to hear it this time. Lucky you!