Dear Fiskars,

I need to file a complaint. Your children's safety blunt-tip scissors are defective. They cut with such ease and precision. They cut things like the elastic off of tennis shoes, fringe off of couch pillows, the tops off of socks and pajamas, holes in blankets, fur off of stuffed animals, and even human hair.


I understand that in this modern world of technology we strive to make things better and more efficient. But I'd like to know what happened to those crappy difficult-to-use, blunt tip, all metal scissors that were available when I was a child. They rarely cut paper and wouldn't even come close to cutting cloth or elastic. The only danger they posed was when they were thrown across the room because of built-up frustration from their lack of cutting ability and from the painful cramping in the thumb and finger area. If those scissors were still available today, it wouldn't be necessary for me to file this complaint.


However, if I were a modern mom I would not stop with a letter. Oh no. I would blame and sue you for making scissors that enabled my 5 year old to cut the items listed above. It would be all your fault and I would make the news and you would settle out of court just to make me go away. My child would turn into a spoiled brat and feel that she was entitled to do anything she pleased and her mother would back her up.


But as it is, I'm a practical mom who knows that scissors don't cut things, people do...namely my 5 year old. Her tear-streaked face and sore bottom are proof of where the fault really lies. (Not to mention, where was her mother when all this cutting was going on anyway?) And in 10 years when she is finally allowed access again to privileges such as television, toys...and scissors, she will fully understand that she is in control of her own actions and not look to blame anyone and everyone else for what she does.


So I kindly ask you to please consider going back to making the crappy difficult-to-use blunt-tip scissors. It would be for the sanity of mothers like me, and for your own protection for when this happens to a modern mom instead of a practical mom.


Sincerely,
Frazzled, Practical Mom




(Note the missing hair from her bangs and how one side of her hair is markedly shorter than the other side. I guess she was going for the "layered" look. Also note the trimmed corners of the couch pillow behind her. Oh and said stuffed animal did not belong to her, but to her older sister...of course. The tennis shoes, socks and pajamas were hers, though. She will NOT be getting new shoes until she out-grows these.)