Montana Menopause

Seems like no matter where you're at in the country people will say "if you don't like the weather, hang around for 5 minutes and it will change" (except maybe in California where they wish it would change). Well, Montana is one of those places.


We have 5 seasons here...Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, and Menopause. Some seasons are shorter than others but the Menopause season can happen any day of the year.


Here's how it works...


One spring day you wake up and it looks like it's going to be a nice, warm day. Hallelujah! It's a miracle! But you can't jump the gun because mornings are NEVER warm (except for when it's been in the 100's for a few days), so you still have to wear long pants and then layer four to ten shirts/jackets.


Sure enough it warms up nicely and you go outside and gradually start shedding layers until you decide it's TIME for shorts! Oh yes!


You go inside and change into shorts. Go back outside and enjoy the warm weather. You may even be sweating. It's HOT out there! Then within the span of 10 minutes the clouds cover the sun and your sweat turns to little ice drops all over your body.


You run inside and put the pants and all four to ten layers of shirts/jackets back on. Once outside you go about life as usual, until...


...the sun comes back out and you start shedding layers. Not to be fooled again you refuse to change back into shorts even though it seems you're enduring one never ending hot flash. You look up at the sky and there's just one tiny cloud left so you decide it's safe to don the shorts again.


Soon you are enjoying life outside grilling out and watching the kids play and you're not even thinking about the temperamental weather. I mean, it's Montana. We're used to it.


But then comes the severe mood swing. What once was a slight breeze turns into a monsoon (yeah, I know those don't technically happen in the mountains) and the lawn furniture is blowing across the yard. Your husband frantically pulls the meat off the grill, hoping it's cooked, but not too worried because it's elk he shot himself and you know you wont get some strange illness from eating it not fully cooked. (And if he had JUST put the meat on the fire he braves the weather alone because you're not about to stay out there freezing to death.)


You holler at the kids to get inside before they blow away too, sacrificing their bikes and other toys to the moody weather. Did you get everything inside and/or secure? You hope so.


After you've surrendered to the nasty weather and are curled up on the couch with your husband and 4 kids (or 3, and 1 running around entertaining everyone) you realize the windows have stopped rattling. You look outside and the mood swing is over and it's shorts weather again, calm and happy as could be. As if nothing ever happened.


Until the next hot flash, anyway.


Like I said. It could happen any day of the year, to any degree. We lost our trampoline and the kids' playhouse last year to one of those mood swings.

Oh and part of the fence too. Notice the trampoline landed in the lot next door (so thankful there is no house there!)

It also happened one Easter right in the MIDDLE of the egg hunt. Those babies were so cold they didn't care if they found all the eggs. They were running inside, I had them stop, they flashed a quick smile, I took a picture, and that was the end of the egg hunt.